Jealous of Youth

08/13/08 update: Someone in a British accent left a message on my uncle's answering machine that he played while the kids were in the room. It was weirdly cryptic and basically only said, "This is the Agency calling, please return this call" and left a phone number. Layne said, "It's the CIA!" I'm starting to wonder myself... Who am I working for?



So I have this habit of kind of tweaking reality for my cousins to make things interesting for all of us. And due to this habit, they now believe not only that I am psychic, but also a secret agent.



The psychic thing's pretty true and has happened accidentally for ages, but I really freak them out when they think I can read their minds - and telepathy in others is a fear of my own, nonetheless. So when I told Layne I am psychic for the millionth time, she invariably said, "Prove it," and I told her I would read her mind (NB: reading minds is not directly related to psychic ability, but for entertainment purposes, I have been liberal with paranormal truth). She scrunched up her face and concentrated hard, and I guessed, "You're wondering, Is she really psychic?" Her eyes widened and she nodded. "Now you're wondering, Is she really, really, REALLY psychic?" She nodded again. "Now you think I am crazy and I'm freaking you out." She then said, "Oh my God, you really are psychic! Get away from me!" And I succeeded in freaking us both out.



But something I'm pretty sure isn't true is that I'm a secret agent. I don't really know how that came about but one day when they asked me how I could translate this Spanish sign, and it slipped out, "That's because I'm a secret agent." Now these kids want evidence, so they didn't believe me. Over the course of the summer, I have shown them my passport (which are now equipped with electronic devices and appropriately mention Homeland Security) and I went to the CIA website and left the window minimized at the bottom of the computer screen. Then I heard them whispering and speaking skeptically, but they half believe it. And I make sure not to convince them too much, I always say, "Maybe I am or maybe not. Do I seem like a secret agent?" And my reflexes are kind of fast sometimes (surprising I know, but I once saved one of the Polish kids from tumbling down into this hedge when he was running around on a sloping pyramidal garden). I also once caught a wobbling plate of food before it fell to the ground, and Cameron asked how I did that (the poor kid was probably thinking of Spiderman, he loves superheroes) and Layne said matter-of-factly, "Because she's a secret agent..."



And that's the warped sense of reality I feel every kid needs. They don't really believe, but they want to believe, and that's important.



And now I'm thinking the government really will be involved in this because of all the target words I've mentioned in this post. Homeland security, secret agent, CIA, passport. Ha.